Don't wreck your boat

My husband and I home school our 5 year old son Ishmael.  Today I was reading to him from the Usborne Children's Encyclopedia, next to a drawing of a lighthouse it said, “Lighthouses warn sailors of underwater rocks that could wreck their boats”.  It is amazing when the simplest explanation of something can hold so much symbolism and meaning.  When we are in the thick of life, it is hard to see the danger around us at times, this is one reason having community is so important in life. 

Working with people that have addiction issues can be difficult because often logic is thrown out the door when hard times come.  A drug user has become so used to turning to a substance to help them through hard times, their minds are wired to reach out to the illusion of that quick fix and there is no thought given to the long term effects of that choice in the moment. Soon that one choice to fix the initial problem has snowballed into a whole new set of issues that cannot be so easily faced.  Soon the storm has them crashing into the rocks, and the water begins to fill their boat...and they sink.  Will they cry out for help, or go down with the ship?

The sharp rocks of destruction are hidden beneath the reef.  If we don’t heed the warnings of the lighthouse we could wreck our boat.  Life brings the waves, and in our community it is often the stress of starting over with nothing, finding a job as a felon, the pressure of finding a place to live when you have no one and a terrible rental history.  The wind of your past intensifying the waves, as if to say, you can’t change, you can’t make it, don’t even try.

All we can do is give the hope and direction of Jesus, to teach our community to pray when the storm comes.  We shine our light in the darkness and pray they will understand it.  We pray that in the hard times our community will rise up and support one another, and that those struggling will point their ship towards the lighthouse and avoid the rocks.

Jesus, we pray, calm the storm and help our unbelief.

Striking at the Root

Henry David Thoreau once said, "There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one striking at the root." 

This comment may be a pretty heavy exaggeration, but I have come to believe that at its essence, it is true.

I don't think most people deny the presence of evil in the world, especially when confronted by things like addiction, racism, and abuse. There is an obviously dark element to the human experience that touches most of us of pretty directly. But it's one thing to be able to identify evil, and another to confront it. We often hack around the branches, but fail to do the hard work of attacking the roots. This kind of work involves confronting thinking patterns, spiritual states, emotional baggage we carry, deeply embedded habits, and all kinds of things that can't be changed by rearranging circumstances or acquiring better stuff.

In April of 2014, an invitation was extended to me to begin a residency at the Northern Lighthouse Church in Lincoln, Nebraska. I was excited to take it because I have come to believe that to be authentically engaged in the church today means to take on the challenge of engaging the soul. And this is a great challenge but also a great privilege.  I believe the church has a unique call and opportunity to do soul-work in our culture right now; I have met so many people searching for inner peace and fulfillment and tired of the consumer-approach to life.

At that time this position was offered, my I was living in Lincoln and working at a shelter for kids who had been removed from their homes. I had been working with various human service organizations for about eight years--including the local homeless shelter and several group homes. This work was life-changing for me: it exposed to me the struggles that many experience with things like abuse and neglect, institutionalization, addiction, homelessness, and poverty. These are all just labels I was familiar with before I started working in the field; but after eight years in these various settings, there were many people I had gotten to know personally who were struggling with these issues.

A veil had been lifted, revealing a world that was much different from the one in which I grew up.

Some of the experiences that lifted this veil: hearing a child angrily talk about receiving beatings from his dad; receiving the news that one of my friends who lived at the shelter, a man in his thirties, had drank too heavily and died because he choked on his own vomit the night before; watching several friends succumb to meth addiction and end up in prison; and spending holidays with boys at a Boys Home who had no families to which they could go home.

These experiences broke my heart.

But along this journey I also found myself totally encouraged in surprising ways. I found friendship and a great sense of community within these facilities. I met so many amazing people as well--people who inspired me so much because they had faced obstacles in their life but were persevering, and were truly a joy to be around. I met some great friends who taught me so much just by sharing their stories.

Often, as I worked in various human service facilities, however, I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. I worked with so many good people, but there were so many bad systems in place. I felt like we were hacking around together---confronting problems we weren't equipped to deal with, trying to solve the problem of evil through human strength and with faulty strategies. We were often burnt out and frustrated.

I'm more and more convinced these days that the only way to get to the roots of evil is to deal with the gospel--and to do the soul work of dealing with sin, resentment, despair, and self-loathing. Dealing with this baggage and trading it in for redemption, a new sense of family, and a new identity--that's root work.

The Northern Lighthouse is a church with a vibrant prison ministry, and along with this work comes a strong sense of mission as well as the intersection of the Church with the world I have been describing. This is a truly unique church that provides an opportunity to develop relationships in an atmosphere that is welcoming and spirit-filled.

I took the invitation for this position because I have a longing to see the body of Christ get involved with real-world problems and bring the gospel...to do less hacking and more striking.


I love being a part of a church that offers radical acceptance to all kinds of people, and provides support for those in desperate need of resources. Watching friends of mine leave their addictions behind, get out of prison and get back on their feet, and let their walls down to experience Christ has been a major blessing over the past year.

On a weekly basis I get to do some teaching during our worship services, help run a men's discipleship group, work with RIP (our reintegration program for prison inmates), and chip in with our sister church's neighborhood farmer's market.

I will be using this blog to share stories and post updates throughout my journey with this ministry. I am also offering an opportunity for those who feel led to support my ministry financially and through prayer.

Most of all, I hope this blog will be an encouragement to the Body and a way to connect. Thanks for reading!