Crisis management Ministry.

We all know that God needs people in every area of life.  He calls us all to do different things to help bring His kingdom on earth, and ministries take on very different callings that make up a much larger picture as the gospel reaches all types of people.

I think for the past few years my family has been doing a very distinct sort of ministry.  After church on Sunday I was thinking, man I really feel like our ministry is like crisis-management ministry. 

So often at our church, we end up entering into the crisis that people are experiencing.  Those in prison and recently released from prison tend to be dealing with extremely broken family situations, homelessness and poverty issues, severe addictions and spiritual baggage, and demons from childhood trauma.  Many, when they first join our fellowship, are distrusting because they deal with the wreckage of so many broken relationships.  They feel burdened by guilt from their past and they wish they could start over.

What we do, who we love, how we love, and the stories we hear, which are so intense at times—the sum of it can lead to exhaustion….it is so good that we don’t have to do it alone and that God has been preparing us for this in our journey.

On Sunday mornings after having a brief break following the service, we get together in small groups to give people the chance to respond to the message.  I find that being a part of these groups is very valuable to develop a heart for the inmates to whom we minister.  In the past, when I attended the Northern Lighthouse but didn’t attend small groups, I wasn’t full of as much grace for those attending from prison, who can at times be very offensive to the “normal” churchgoer. (We have issues with people talking through the worship music, giggling loudly during communion, kissing and holding hands during the service…just things you wouldn’t think you would have to teach people NOT to do at church.  So many that come have not been in church in a long time.)  However, when you are in a small group, at least when I am, my heart is broken in a new way and all the “church etiquette faux pas” just aren’t as important as the woman who is telling me about the abuse that led her down the path to prison.

 I have never taken an actual survey, but from my experience I would say 95% of the inmates I have met at our church have had some form of physical, verbal or sexual abuse in their past.  Many were physically beaten down, screamed at, and violated when they were young.  I only really work with the women…but I sat at a table with nine women once, and eight of them had been sexually abused in their past.  I don’t think that this would be true at all churches; I really hope it isn’t.

I experienced a glimpse of some the ways in which we have a very distinct set of struggles at our church last Sunday.  In my small group, I asked my ladies to share an example of a time that God answered their prayers.  I received many blank stares, so I instead asked them to share something they were praying that God would do in their lives.  I finally got some answers.  Most, if not all of their answers had to do with pending parole dates.  So many are praying for a place to live when they get out of prison.  Many are stressed about finding a landlord who will rent to them and about the financial situation they will experience when they get out.  There is nothing that makes me feel the need for more believers to help us than listening to inmates talking about needing a home to parole to; If only I could place each one into a healthy family/home!  What an impact that could make for all involved, the inmate and the family.  Next up came a request for God to keep their kids safe while they are away in prison.  As a mother, my heart aches for these moms who are away from their children for so long, some of whom will never be reunited.  While discussing around the circle, I had a girl who wouldn’t share; she looked at me like, “I don’t believe any of this God business,” but I could also see in her eyes that she had been so hurt, there was no way she was going to trust a stranger.  (I have been praying for her--if she keeps coming, I will be very interested to see what she is like in a couple months.) Lastly, one girl decided to answer my question about how God had answered her prayers, but her story started with, “when my mom committed suicide…”  She then went on to talk about how she stopped praying for about a year and during that time she stopped being a good mother to her three kids.  She closed by detailing how God put her in prison and said that it was an answer to prayer.

I ended group as I always do, by praying for these ladies and as always I was overcome with the needs in that room. 

After small groups we all meet back in the sanctuary for a meal.  We pick up our meal from a little window in the kitchen and then we can sit at a round table of our choosing with about five other people.  As a leadership team we have talked about how often the inmates just sit with inmates and how we need to force some integration.  So I found a spot with some ladies that I didn’t know.  I made some small talk while eating and helping my five year-old eat.  The woman next to me started opening up with me about her life story. She said she has been in prison twice, both times due to meth.  But this last time she asked herself why she kept going back to meth, and she said she realized it was because she was molested by her father for years as a young child.  Through tears she explained that that was why she was using drugs; it wasn’t the drugs that were that root problem, it was her hurt from the pain of her childhood.  She said this time when she gets out she knows she needs to get counseling and if she can’t find anyone to pay for it she just needs to read books about it.  I made sure I knew her name before I hugged her to say goodbye so she could get back on the bus to the center.  I have prayed for her this week.

The sanctuary cleared out as the community vans left along with the bus and soon it was just my kids and three other adults in the building.  I felt a bit drained but also, that God has me at this church for a purpose--that this ministry is hard, but that God is doing it. I am just the conduit, but if I could only get more people to pray for us and our church, that it would help so, so much.  I have struggled with feeling like we aren’t doing it right or doing enough at times.  I think this comes from a misunderstanding of what our goal actually is.  My goal cannot be to “manage” their crisis, instead my goal is to teach them how to lean on Jesus and HIS community of people to help them get through the hard times.  I want to come along side someone during the dark times of their life and show them that they are not alone, that they are loved by Jesus and God’s people, that they have NOT been forgotten.  Many will turn back, many won’t get it the first time around, but some will, they will start to understand God’s love for them, who they are in Christ and they will make a change in the right direction.  But for some, even the decision to follow Jesus won’t mean that suddenly they will be a stable individual in society, or that they still won’t have “drama” in their lives.  If that is my goal, I will never feel like I am doing it “right”.  This call is not about fixing people and situations, it is not about managing their crisis, it is about loving them, IN the MIDDLE of it.

I was actually contemplating writing this article about the intensity of our ministry when my phone rang.  “Anna?? Anna??? Is that you?  Thank God you answered your phone, Anna I am in crisis, I don’t know what to do, please help me.”  And we were off and running into the most recent domestic dispute in our friend group.  (I sent my husband and went home with my kids, it was nap time).

The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  I know God has made my husband and me for this type of ministry…but surely he has made others who share this same heart for the broken, the hurt, the prisoner and the homeless??  Please send them our way…and keep lifting us up in prayer.  We greatly appreciate those who pray and support us in what we are doing.  It means a great deal to us!